We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
