It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
