i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
