...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
