I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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