Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
