She is in my trunk
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Sext me about skeletons
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
