I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
