It's like God shit irony all over that family
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
