i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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