were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
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