dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
