Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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