so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
