Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
