thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
