He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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