Non-Jews are for practice
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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