As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
