You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i believe in u and ur pee
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
