If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
