Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
