she was so not down for the gang bang
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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