I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
