Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
