at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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