then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
