Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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