'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We have so much sex to catch up on
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
