I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
is it fun? or sober?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
