I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
