oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
