Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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