Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
