i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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