Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
