Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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