i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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