He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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