bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
And then he peed in my hair
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