No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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