Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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