youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
