HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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