Cold hands, warm shart.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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