I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
