I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
