Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
