:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
