She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize