oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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