worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
