Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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