You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
where are you?
Hypothermia
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
