I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
