we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
