i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
