You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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