Her vagina should come with caution tape.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
