im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize
